Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The Waterboard by M.W. Thomas

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Thursday, June 18, 2015

Take the Food Trivia Quiz!

Take the food trivia quiz! Do you know, or can you guess, the right answers?  You will find those below.

1. What breakfast food gets its name from the German word for "stirrup"?

2. Under federal guidelines, how much alcohol can there be in a beer labeled "non-alcoholic?

3. How did the "pound cake" get its name?

4. Wild rice isn't rice. So, what is it?

5. How long does it take to hard boil an ostrich egg?

6. What does the pasta word linguine actually mean?

7. When Birdseye introduced the first frozen food in 1930, what was it called?

8. What is the traditional food served at Wimbledon each year?

9.  What does VSOP mean on a bottle of cognac?

10. What do Eskimos use to prevent their food from freezing?

If you score:
1-3: you are a dumpster diver
4-5: you are a casual diner
6-8: you are a gourmet food critic
9-10: you cheated

Answers:
1. The bagel; 2. Up to 0.4999 percent; 3. From the 1 lb quantity of ingredients (sugar, butter, eggs, and flour); 4. An annual grass that grows in marshy lakes and shallow streams; 5. An hour and 45 minutes; 6. "Little tongues"; 7. Frosted food (yuk!); 8. Strawberries and Cream; 9. Very Superior Old Pale; 10. A refrigerator

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Tuesday, June 16, 2015

The Waterboard by M.W. Thomas

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Sunday, June 14, 2015

Make Your Own BBQ Sauce!

Summer is here and many of you will have hardworking grills and even belching smokers turning out pork ribs and beef brisket and other delectable extractions from lower down on the food chain.  With that comes the need for the marinades and sauces that make everything taste oh-so-special. The king of them all: BBQ sauce.

I am going to suggest that you make your own, if you don't already. That is not because there is any lack of fine BBQ sauces available off-the-shelf at your local grocery store. There are many good ones indeed, and BBQ sauce is one of those things that bottles and stores quite well. The argument for making your own is that you have mastery over the flavor that way, and that makes a huge difference for the savoriness of your meat and for stamping your Q with your own unique imprint. And it's ridiculously easy to make.

It helps to understand the history of BBQ sauce. The "styles" of BBQ sauce Americans are likely to think of today, Memphis style, Texas style, Carolina styles, and so on, came into being just a few generations ago. Bear in mind that tomato ketchup, which is the basis of most southern BBQ sauces (except Alabama White), was not a clearly defined product until the early years of the twentieth century. Other countries have their versions too: South America has chimichurri (for asado), the Chinese have hoisin. Until well into more contemporary times, "BBQ" sauces were ad hoc concoctions of mayonnaise, butter, lard, or various fermentations (such as Worcestershire sauce), flavored and spiced in a zillion different ways in different times and places.

The point is: there are no hard and fast rules to confine you and there is really a lot of freedom to tailor a sauce to your occasion. It is very easy to experiment, without radically departing from convention. Here's a list of likely basic ingredients you will use for a tomato-based BBQ sauce:

  • Ketchup
  • Mustard
  • Brown sugar
  • Vinegar
  • Worcestershire sauce
  • Minced garlic
  • Onion powder
  • Salt and pepper
As an example, let's say we are going to sauce up some baby back ribs. How do like your ribs? Decide what you want your sauce to bring to the party. When I smoke ribs, I want a bold and tangy sauce to go with 'em. So the plan might be: keep it simple and adjust the amounts of vinegar and brown sugar to achieve the effect I want. Dump a bottle of ketchup in a sauce pan and turn the heat to medium. As things start to warm up in there, add 1 cup of brown sugar (packed) and get it to dissolve. Then a splash of vinegar (about a tablespoon) to start. What kind of vinegar? Just whatever is on hand. White or Apple Cider vinegar, either one, will satisfice.

Let's go ahead and add a tablespoon of the Worcestershire sauce and put the bottle away. A little bit of Worcestershire will contribute some nuance to our sauce; too much will ruin it.

Now for the mustard. For this sauce, I think I'll go a little light on the mustard. Let me rummage around and see if I can find some dijon, or anything upscale from French's Yellow. Stir in about a tablespoon of it. I want to preserve the bold tomato-y flavor, so I'm not going to be too heavy handed with the garlic either. Just a half a tablespoon of the minced stuff will do.

Then let's sprinkle in about two teaspoons of onion powder and a big pinch of salt. We'll turn the heat to low and let it simmer for ten or twelve minutes, stirring occasionally. It's important not to taste and render judgment too soon. Allow time for the flavors to come together.

Grab a couple of spoons. One is your dipping spoon, the other your tasting spoon. Scoop up a sample of the sauce with your dipping spoon, and transfer it to your tasting spoon. Taste. How is it?

Now, there is already an excellent chance that our BBQ sauce is just about what we want. Not tangy enough? Then add another little splash of the vinegar and taste again, always remembering that it's easier to add an ingredient than it is to take it out. If you goof, don't worry, you will just have to add more brown sugar. If you goof a lot, you may have to add more ketchup too, just to keep everything in balance.

Okay, so our sauce is bold and tangy. But do you feel it's still a little bland? No fear! We'll make some adjustments to finish this off. Another teaspoon of onion powder. Taste. A little more garlic. Taste. Add the black pepper. Taste. Want a little smoked paprika in there? Why, it's a free country! Taste. Shoulda used just a tad bit more mustard? Add it. Taste.

Just keep adjusting and tasting until, as far you're concerned, it's perfect! Next time, you might be grilling up some chicken. In that case, you might make more use of spices (chili powder, paprika, etc.), add some lemon zest as well as some juice of the lemon, to get yet a different effect. And that's the point. If you're going to all the trouble to cook up a great meal at home, it is really not that much to ask for a home brewed sauce to make sure it's special.


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Saturday, June 13, 2015

Philippines In Territorial Waters, Chinese Say

China has been making vast claims to sovereignty over the South China Sea of late. China and its neighbors have been clashing over jurisdictional claims to territory and natural reserves in recent years, with China going so far as to build machine gun nests on artificial reefs to enforce their claims. In a new development, Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi put Philippines President Aquino on notice yesterday that large parts of the Philippine Islands are in Chinese territorial waters.


"All of Luzon and most of Mindanao are within the territorial limits justly claimed by The People's Republic," said Wang, "and they must be removed immediately."

"This is ridiculous," President Aquino understated off the record. "What are we supposed to do? Tow the Islands east into the Central Pacific?"

"Yes," Wang immediately responded, who was listening on a secret recording device.


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Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The Waterboard by M.W. Thomas

Please leave a comment below, or you can email your comments to: myirrefutableopinion@gmail.com. I am looking forward to hearing from you!


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