Jade Helm 15

Figure 5. War Plans of the Obama-Empire in Red. Campaign
to Annex Texas Imminent in Summer 2015 (JH 15)

Jade Helm One-Five. The Credulous think it's just a "military exercise." The Gullible think the War in Afghanistan was to whoop the Taliban; no, the War in Afghanistan was practice for the operation to annex the Great State of Texas and make it a part of the United States! For fifteen years, the US military has been in intense training to deprive Texas of its sovereignty; and finally, under Obama-criminality, brought under "control" of the liberal Arizona-Chicago axis.

The Pentagon admits JH 15 is targeting US citizens. Pentagon Spokesman Col. Steve Warren (still working on getting his home address for you, folks) said outright and without contrition that The People will be subjected to military vehicle and air traffic and associated noise.

Look at the map. The Patriotic States, like Texas and Utah, are colored Red, indicating that they are enemies of the Obama administration (see Figure 5.)  Left wing liberal-pinko states like Arizona, presumably friendly to Obama, are colored blue. Coincidence? I don't think so. For a full analysis of what this all means, you must visit All News Pipeline. But let me say this about that. Pundits who self-style themselves as 'normal' say it is common place in military exercises to represent the pretend 'hostile' forces as the Red Force. Since when? They offer not one atom of proof!!!! I have a friend in the military who is the chief stapler officer at at Fort Bliss, and he has never heard of this.

Special Operation Command will be confiscating both Public and Private Land, by their own admission All of this proceeds under the direction of the Peoples Republic of China (Jade = China; Helm = Steering.)   Chinese troops will be brought in via a network of underground tunnels being built among closed Walmarts in Texas (no sources required for something that obvious.)

I have a source in Afghanistan who has been on the ground with Special Ops, as they reach the crest of their training for JH 15. I reached him on his cell phone in Kandahar Province. To protect his identity, I can only call him Secret Squirrel.

MIO: Hello, is this Lieutenant Crowell?

SS: Yes, is this my incompetent double-agent handler? Where's my money?

MIO; Check's in the mail.

SS: There is no mail. It's Spring Kill Americans Season. Mail bags are on a delay. I told you no checks. How the hell am I gonna cash a check over here?!

MIO: Not my prob. How's JH 15 pre-mission going?

SS: It's going good. I've posted your address on the internet. You should be hearing from some real crazies soon. Our status is thumbs up. We're training hard.

MIO: Are you ready for Texas?

SS: More than ready. Afghans have IEDs [Improvised Explosive Devices] and Texans have BBQs. We'll be alright. The only thing we're really worried about is Roundup.

MIO: What are the War Plans?

SS: I sent you a Fax with a battle map. But basically the plan is to encourage the current trajectory of Texan stupidity. It's headed for a big fail. Like Kansas. Except with bullet wounds. We'll make Texas part of the US alright, it's gonna happen. And it's gonna happen under Obama, like it or not.

MIO: I hear noise in the background. What is that?

SS: It's the exercises. We're on the road, under simulated fire.

Suddenly, I hear something break through the static in his background. It sounds like...

**crackle** Heads up! Bowleg with fire-stick coming up at your eleven o'clock! **crackle**

MIO: What was that?

SS: Pop-up target. They're making them more realistic all the time. This one was a Texas cowboy with a AK-47.

MIO: What happened?

SS: We creamed 'em. He's brisket now. Not to imply Kosher.

MIO: OK, Huck is calling on the other line ...

It's a serious situation. Texas subordination to the US?! By Force?! Hold on a sec... let me set the CAPS LOCK.

WHAT IF THE CHINESE FORCES IN NETWORKED-CLOSED WALMARTS IN TEXAS GO NUCLEAR? [THESE FACILITIES WILL HOUSE CHINESE FORCES, STORE THE WEAPONS SEIZED FROM TRUE AMERICANS, AND WILL HOUSE DENTIST-CHAIRS REPURPOSED FOR FORCED-FEEDINGS OF GRANOLA BARS TO OUR CHILDREN. ) THERE WILL BE A MUSHROOM CLOUD OVER SIX FLAGS IF LORETTA LYNCH GETS HER WAY. HOW DO I KNOW? BECAUSE I SHOUT!! BECAUSE I'M AN OLD WHITE GUY!! WHAT MORE CREDENTIALS DO YOU NEED!!!!! WHERE'S THE RED FONT?

HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATRED AND FEAR HAS TO BE LOUD TO CORRECT RATIONAL THOUGHT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

In closing, I just think that judgment based on traditional military training conventions is a misdirection and really we should go bananas over this. I cannot call Obama a you-know-what in this article under proper cover, BUT YOU CAN IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. LET US KNOW: "MESSAGE RECEIVED."

The Waterboard by M.W.Thomas

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Cinco de Mayo

Battle of Puebla, Anonymous

For those of you who don't speak Spanish, Cinco de Mayo falls on May 5 this year, as it does most years, if not nearly every year. Contrary to common word-of-mouth that thankfully no longer infects the increasingly prestigious internet, Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican Independence Day, which rolls around this September. Instead, it celebrates the Battle of Puebla, at which the forces of General Ignacio Zaragoza routed the French army on May 5, 1862.

In the mid-nineteenth century, Mexico was dead broke from two civil wars and Mexican President Benito Juarez stubbornly refused to pay his foreign debts. Britain, France, and Spain and didn't like this attitude and sent their naval collection agencies to Veracruz in 1861 to make him pay up. But six months later, Britain and Spain bailed and left the French on their own. Meanwhile, Abe Lincoln was preoccupied with a civil war of his own, and not inclined to intervene in any mischief down souther south. Napoleon III thought he'd just take a little advantage of that and landed a large force at Veracruz, and began a march toward Mexico City to make Mexico his own colonial conquest.

On their way they encountered trouble. His name was General Zaragoza. He hailed the French down at Puebla, which is about 85 miles east of the capitol. Although he was outnumbered two-to-one (some say three-to-one), Zaragoza toppled the advancing French like Chuck Norris taking out Kermit the Frog with a roundhouse kick.  How did he do it? He told is rag-tag soldiers to visualize the French phalanx as piñatas filled with frogs. Then they just whacked the holy mole out of them. Or maybe that's not exactly the way it happened. Don't ask me. I'm not a military historian.

It was a brilliant shot in the arm for the Mexicans. It didn't seem to do them a lot of good though, as the French eventually captured Mexico City, installed a new ruler and established the "Second Mexican Empire," which lasted until 1867.

I just wanted you to know that this is what your margarita and tacos are all about this Tuesday. At least theoretically. I'll bet you don't really give a rolling tortilla about all this history stuff, but there you go anyway. Happy Cinco de Mayo!
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I'm a Wazer!

I'm a Waze GrownUp and an aspirational Waze Warrior. If you don't know what I'm talking about, Waze is a GPS-based navigation app for smartphones that provides turn-by-turn finger-waggings and traffic hazard warnings, including police traps. It's five generations ahead of sliced bread. It works on iPhone, Android, Blackberry, Windows Mobile,  Symbian, and Maemo. When Google bought the company up in 2013, the 100 or so employees at the time each got a payout of something like $1.2 million. They must be happy campers. If not happy, then at least rich campers. Hands down, it is the best navigation software out there. The maps are accurate, at least for the U.S., and it crowd sources traffic information from a strong membership, so you have a good idea what's going on for your commute.

Waze uses gaming principles to keep members engaged. You earn points for the number of miles you drive, reporting road hazards, and police sightings. You advance through "levels" as follows:

1. You're a Waze Baby until you've driven you're first 100 miles
2. Then you're a Waze GrownUp
3. When you're in the top 10% of the highest scorers in you're state, you're a Waze Warrior, and you drive around with a shield
4. Top 4%: you "fight traffic with a sword." You're a Waze Knight
5. At 1% you're Waze Royalty and you "ride in style" with a crown

As silly as it is, I'm really into it. I want that damn shield. Fortunately for me, Waze awards points based on how far you drive, and being a super-commuter, I've been racking them up quickly. I even got extra points yesterday for my first weekend road report. Yippee! Waze also rewards with "road goodies" and "candy" to gobble up on the road. More points! Hooray!

The Waze display and user interface is well designed.  The scale of the map automatically adapts to your speed. The icons indicating hazards, police presence, or points of interest, fit well into the scene. The experience becomes a sort of augmented reality. What's missing is weather: if a squall has popped up in the town you're passing through, there's no way to report that. Can't report 'tutes on the streetcorner either.

Oh well, nothing is perfect. You might want to visit your app store and try out this gizmo. See on the road.
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Have Watercolors Will Travel

Who paints a daily watercolor and posts it to the world wide web? Maria Elena Sandovici for one. Are there two or more who do such a thing? Not that I've discovered, although I'll admit I haven't looked that hard. Specifically, these watercolors appear on today's featured blog Have Watercolors Will Travel, the latest addition to my BLOGROLL page. Although she seems to have some favorite subjects (Galveston Island, walks on the beach, European Vistas, dogs), her imagery is unfettered by any fetishes. Most of her pictures are free-wheeling, but many are carefully drafted and executed and I suspect were not done in a day. One of my favorites is the Hotel Monteleone (easily found in her Archive list on the right of her Home page.) I wonder how she translates her quotidian watercolor into electrons. Does she scan them? Does she take photographs of them? How do they get from paper to my iFad? The lady has a secret.

As for blog rolls, I've adopted the singular habit of actually offering an opinion of the blog rather than just posting a simple list as most sensible bloggers do. But I've learned something interesting by doing that and Ms. Sandovici's blog is a good example of my epiphany. You may find you have more in common with somebody than at first you thought if you take some time to cipher on it.

The first time I thumbed through her watercolor blog (which I was led to do by the event of a mutual Twitter follow), I didn't perceive anything kindred about it, other than we both use Google Blogger (you know, blogspot.com), and we both chose the same simple template. Very superficial commonalities those are. Actually, we seemed to be very different people and bloggers.

But I did like her watercolors. Because I did like them, I started considering adding her to my BLOGROLL page, which on My Irrefutable Opinion means a write-up. So I visited her blog again to piece together her story. I noticed something. She paints, and I draw (cartoons.) She is evidently more interested in content than jazzing about with the features of her blog. Here, here. Me too.

She writes. Why, so do I. Not at her level though. I dabble in short stories. She's just completed her second book. More about that later. The point is: it resonates.

I got lucky too. On her blog, at the behest of a friend and/or colleague, she addresses a list of questions about herself in a post and I hit the jackpot. Like me, she does not blog about her profession (she teaches comparative politics.) Say, my background is academics too, although I currently do things that are allegedly of practical use. Let's not go there. I too choose to blog creatively instead.

Here's the kicker though (extracted from her blog):

What everyday thing are you better at than every one else? What's your secret?
... I'm a good cook. I can be creative even with limited ingredients, and I can make things that are healthy and yummy.

Well, bonk me on the head with a silver hammer and call me a Beatle! I resemble that! I do that routinely. Who woulda thunkit? And to think that when I first encountered her I assumed we were separated by a moat.

To be sure, we have our differences. She professes to be very comfortable doing serious writing using the notes app on her iPhone. Not me. Not fat fingered me. Not Mr. Magoo me.

Now, about her books, which I haven't had the opportunity to read. Her first book, Dogs with Bagels, is "a story about the American Dream gone bad." You can find a full synopsis by following the link. Now she has a sequel coming out, called Stray Dogs and Lonely Beaches, and you will find her at a book signing in Houston on May 9 (see her blog for details.) Congratulations!

Yes, there's been a lot of Michael in this post about Ms. Sandovici's blog, but that's because I learned a lot when preparing my opinion of it. Her watercolors are terrific. I wish I could tell you more about her books, but I definitely recommend her blog. It's the only place I know where you can get your daily watercolor. You can also keep up with her by following her nom de Twitter: @sandoviciME.
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The Waterboard by M.W. Thomas

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Bad Belly's Shrimp Jambalaya

Lordy! I'm gonna tell you all about how to whip up one of my favorite spicy suppers. It's a shrimp Jambalaya that's super easy to make, although it does have a bunch of ingredients, which to get off on the right foot happen to be these:

1 lb 26/30 ct. shrimp, peeled with tails off
1 lb Andouille sausage
2 c. chopped yellow onion
1 c. diced bell pepper
4 cloves chopped garlic
1 tbsp sage
1 tbsp thyme
1 tbsp flour
1 28 oz. can whole plum tomatoes
2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 tbsp. Cayenne pepper
2 tbsp. Tabasco sauce
2 tbsp. fresh chopped dill
2 tbsp. fresh chopped parsely
Juice of 1 large lemon
Salt and pepper
Rice as an accompaniment

The neat thing is that if this dish becomes part of your repertoire, it's very easy to keep these provisions on hand, since frozen shrimp will do, and Andouille sausage does well in the deep freeze as well. However, it is imperative to use fresh herbs. If you need to go shopping, go ahead. I'll wait.

Back? Good. Bad Belly's recipe is more a Cajun style Jambalaya, although in New Orleans you can get a more refined Creole version. Stop the ponies! you say. What's the difference?

Let's back up. In crude terms, you could say that Creole cooking is for the City Mouse and Cajun cooking is for the Country Mouse.  The ingredients tend to be largely the same, except that Cajun cooking was designed to help us po' folks choke down rancid meat. Oh, I guess that doesn't sound so good inside a recipe. Forget I said that.

The term "Cajun" derives from les Acadians, who were the French that colonized North America in the seventeenth century. The Creoles are more specifically the settlers of Louisiana and New Orleans in particular. They were French and Spanish, and their cuisine was very much in the Continental tradition, while Cajun cooking was, shall we say, a bit more rustic. Thus you might find that the thickener in Creole Jambalaya will be a roux of butter and flour, while in Cajun Jambalaya it might be a slurry of oil and flour. But don't worry. We're having the good stuff.

Let's be clear though: we're not having authentic Creole or Cajun anything. We would have to go to Louisiana for that. But we're having the next best thing: home cooking using a rigorously tested recipe. I promise a delicious outcome or I will hang myself. Let's get started.

Using a chef's knife, break the Andouille sausage down into bite size pieces and commence to brown it in a pre-heated cast iron skillet until - wait what did you say? You forgot the sausage on your grocery run?

Don't worry. Bet you have some bacon. You can substitute and that works well. Just run your knife through about a third of a pound of bacon and drop that in the pan instead.

Whether it's the Andouille or the bacon, brown until the fat is fully rendered. Turn the heat down to medium low. Add the chopped onion and peppers and sauté until tender, adding the garlic, sage and thyme toward the end. Season with salt and pepper.

Add the flour and make a slurry. Adjust the amount of flour until the oil is fully absorbed. Add the canned plum tomatoes (crushed by hand), together with any liquid, add Worcestershire sauce, tabasco, and cayenne pepper. Stir. Turn heat to low and let simmer for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Add the shrimp and fresh chopped dill and cook until shrimp is done (about 5 minutes.) Add the juice of 1 large lemon and stir, then sprinkle with fresh chopped parsley. The lemon and parsley perform crucial magic and make the dish explode with life and freshness that you will want to share with everybody you know. Go ahead. Brag. I do.

(Serve over rice.)

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Gift of Gab

Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa

The gift of gab - don't have it. Most men don't. But I know one who does: Regis Philbin. I've always imagined that talking to this guy could be downright intimidating. I am to Regis what a blade of grass is to a lawnmower. He makes his life seem so significant as he weaves his stories that my existence seems to be servile piffle by comparison. When he has pizza in Manhattan on Sunday night, the world is in awe on Monday morning. It's all in the telling. He is a marvelous storyteller. The weird thing is that he otherwise seems to have no discernible talent. Oh, I've heard rumors that he's a crooner and has cut a few records, but who listens to them? Yet there he is, one of the world's best known television personalities.

Yes, Regis is the Titan of Talk. When Kathie Lee left Live! in 2000, the hunt was on for a new sidekick. I recognized this empty chair problem immediately as a particularly interesting one. (It wasn't that I was a regular viewer of this broadcast, mind you. There are such things as sick days from the day job, you know.) Who could be the immoveable object to Regis's unstoppable force? All of the guest cohosts were pushovers. Except for one. Kelly Ripa.

When Kelly arrived, now it was Regis who had to fight to get a word in edgewise. And she wouldn't take any guff. If Regis puffed up a story, Kelly made it clear she just didn't believe it and grabbed the steering wheel. Gotta love it! The audience did love it. And Kelly got the job.

This gift of gab is a wondrous thing to watch, since I don't possess it. There has to be a lack of self-consciousness a person must have to be free with their thoughts, nearly uncensored in their disclosures, and so confident in their own trivia that their words flow like an open fire hydrant on a summer street without any inhibition. Rachel Ray is another TV personality that comes to mind. I am not a "fan" of Rachel's, I just like her. Who wouldn't? She can talk to anybody like she is talking to her own grandmother. In fact, she can talk to a television camera like she's talking to her own grandmother. Who does that?

Conversationalists and storytellers still have a unique place in our popular culture. The best of them really do seem to warm our lives. I am sorry to say that I do not walk among these tongue-gods. My silly blog will have to suffice. And, yes, that's my final answer.

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Team of Rivals

Recently added to GOOD READS page...

Team of Rivals
 
Genres: Non-fiction, History, American History

Doris Kearns Goodwin

Date read: October, 2014
 
Author: Doris Kearns Goodwin, b. January 4, 1943
 
Publisher: Simon & Schuster, New York (2005)
 
Awards: 2006 Lincoln Prize; Inaugural Book Prize for American History, New York Historical Society
 
Quote: We need the strongest men of the party in the Cabinet. We need to hold our own people together. I had looked the party over and concluded these were the very strongest men. Then I had no right to deprive the country of their services. ~ Abraham Lincoln
 
Opinion: Doris Kearns Goodwin's exploration of Lincoln's political savvy in our time of greatest national crisis won the awards noted above quite deservedly. In her book, she adheres tightly to her thesis and does not wander off into other circumstances or subjects related to the American Civil War. Does she succeed in making her case? That it was Lincoln's political brilliance that saved the Union? Her argument is compelling. As she polls Lincoln's cabinet members she adduces what seems millions of data points to support her. But is it evidence or anecdote?
 
 I am not a professional historian and cannot credibly review her scholarship. And I have heard no grumbling from her peers. Nevertheless, I am a critical reader, and I am not sure I am inclined to swallow her whole, without her servings being passed through a poison-tester first. The Union was saved. With that hindsight, isn't it easy, tempting to ascribe it to Lincoln's godlike wisdom? Maybe there was a lot of good luck involved too; not to mention the superior economic and military strength of the Union side. Or maybe she's right: things came out right because Lincoln was a political genius.

Her study is excellent and is certainly recommended reading. I give it four stars (I don't read bad books, and neither should you.)

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Alabama Shakes

Well drive me to Hades in a PT Cruiser! I just heard this new (to me) group called Alabama Shakes that is basically musical apoplexy. Holy smokes, just go to YouTube or your other favorite digital music source and push play and I swear it's like 10 megatons of TNT just exploded.  (NPR is currently hosting some good examples.) And you didn't turn up the volume. They did. This band is amped up like nothing I've heard in a long time. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's like a car crash that sounds good.

The singer Brittany Howard has to be heard to be believed. She is not going to be satisfied until she's taken you to a different universe and left you stranded there with no way to get back. Man alive, she should be completely hoarse after singing the first twenty-five notes. How she gets through an entire performance, I do not understand.

It's amazing how, now and then, a new troupe comes along, and basically reinvents music. If you don't already know about them. Go check 'em out. Tell them their new friend Mike sent you.

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