Former First Lady Laura Bush May Vote For Hillary!

Rumor has it that former First Lady Laura Bush may cast her vote in the 2016 Presidential poll for Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton. In our polarized politics, partisan reactions have been predictably violently opposed. On the Trump side, it is seen as nothing short of treason. On the Hillary side, it is ‘meh’. Either way, we must agree there are only two possible explanations:

1.       The First Lady is not a white supremacist, or

2.       She’s on the rag.

Because there is so little difference between the two, it is very difficult to get to the bottom of it. But I will walk you through it. As Trump would point out, the latter observation is too easily misconstrued as a misogynistic insult. But think about it. Would you want an all-menstruating jury to decide your handicapped parking dispute? You are accused of purloining a handicapped spot and you are on trial for your life. What kind of jury should you want? Certainly neither rag heads nor rag bottoms. Furthermore, we all know that a drooling plaintiff in a wheelchair doesn’t count as “white,” really. So an all-white, non-menstruating jury is really the way to go, if you expect a judgement in your favor. You see what I mean.

Now, the Founding Fathers were five fifths human beings and our African Americans were three fifths human beings. Do the math people. Okay, skip the math; it involves fractions. But trust me, it says White Supremacy. It is what our nation was founded on, Patriots. It’s in the Constitution. To say exactly the same thing in other words, women were created by cloning them from man’s rib as recorded in Genesis. We would know a little bit more about which end of the rib this bleeding thing originates from, except that “scientists” are too busy forcing abortions on women who don’t want them in order to exterminate Donald Trump voters (see the Internet for proof: start here, here, or here, using search term ‘Hillary bitch face.’)

So why might Laura Bush vote for Hillary? Why, because she’s bleeding from her wherever on Election Day and is blind to the sacred trust of being white. People of color are counting on us, as white people, to look after them, like pets. It all comes together like chocolate and peanut butter.  Like the white creamy center in a Little Debbie chocolate cake. That is what Donald Trump is all about. That is his wisdom. Laura: don’t bleed on my parade.

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