Delirious Tremors by M.W. Thomas

Stable Genius

Chief Stable Genius of the United States

There’s nothing like a good think.  A genius like me has to be careful though.  This big brain of mine makes me top heavy and I am wont to topple over.  When I have a think, I brace myself against a solid surface for stability.  Safety first.

Yes, I am a stable genius with these precautions.  Elevation matters too.  I find that I think best between 275 and 350 feet above sea level.  The ratio of oxygen to sulfur dioxide has to be just so.  Then the torrent of my brilliant ideas floods the room like a broken water pipe in winter.

I am sure my cogitations excel over those of the Chief Stable Genius of the United States.  I know that because

1. I know how to read

2. I stay inside the lines in my coloring book

3. I can drink from a bottle of water with one hand

Now, I know it sounds like I am bragging, but we stable geniuses have an obligation to warn those around us, lest there be unintended injury.  My brain can build up such a massive charge that poisonous frog darts may emanate from me through the sheer will of narcissism.  It is all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.