Please share...
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
The Waterboard by M.W. Thomas
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Take the Food Trivia Quiz!
Take the food trivia quiz! Do you know, or can you guess, the right answers? You will find those below.
1. What breakfast food gets its name from the German word for "stirrup"?
2. Under federal guidelines, how much alcohol can there be in a beer labeled "non-alcoholic?
3. How did the "pound cake" get its name?
4. Wild rice isn't rice. So, what is it?
5. How long does it take to hard boil an ostrich egg?
6. What does the pasta word linguine actually mean?
7. When Birdseye introduced the first frozen food in 1930, what was it called?
8. What is the traditional food served at Wimbledon each year?
9. What does VSOP mean on a bottle of cognac?
10. What do Eskimos use to prevent their food from freezing?
If you score:
1-3: you are a dumpster diver
4-5: you are a casual diner
6-8: you are a gourmet food critic
9-10: you cheated
Answers:
1. The bagel; 2. Up to 0.4999 percent; 3. From the 1 lb quantity of ingredients (sugar, butter, eggs, and flour); 4. An annual grass that grows in marshy lakes and shallow streams; 5. An hour and 45 minutes; 6. "Little tongues"; 7. Frosted food (yuk!); 8. Strawberries and Cream; 9. Very Superior Old Pale; 10. A refrigerator
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please leave a comment below, or you can email your comments to: myirrefutableopinion@gmail.com. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
1. What breakfast food gets its name from the German word for "stirrup"?2. Under federal guidelines, how much alcohol can there be in a beer labeled "non-alcoholic?
3. How did the "pound cake" get its name?
4. Wild rice isn't rice. So, what is it?
5. How long does it take to hard boil an ostrich egg?
6. What does the pasta word linguine actually mean?
7. When Birdseye introduced the first frozen food in 1930, what was it called?
8. What is the traditional food served at Wimbledon each year?
9. What does VSOP mean on a bottle of cognac?
10. What do Eskimos use to prevent their food from freezing?
If you score:
1-3: you are a dumpster diver
4-5: you are a casual diner
6-8: you are a gourmet food critic
9-10: you cheated
Answers:
1. The bagel; 2. Up to 0.4999 percent; 3. From the 1 lb quantity of ingredients (sugar, butter, eggs, and flour); 4. An annual grass that grows in marshy lakes and shallow streams; 5. An hour and 45 minutes; 6. "Little tongues"; 7. Frosted food (yuk!); 8. Strawberries and Cream; 9. Very Superior Old Pale; 10. A refrigerator
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please share...
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
The Waterboard by M.W. Thomas
Please share...
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Make Your Own BBQ Sauce!
Summer is here and many of you will have hardworking grills and even belching smokers turning out pork ribs and beef brisket and other delectable extractions from lower down on the food chain. With that comes the need for the marinades and sauces that make everything taste oh-so-special. The king of them all: BBQ sauce.
I am going to suggest that you make your own, if you don't already. That is not because there is any lack of fine BBQ sauces available off-the-shelf at your local grocery store. There are many good ones indeed, and BBQ sauce is one of those things that bottles and stores quite well. The argument for making your own is that you have mastery over the flavor that way, and that makes a huge difference for the savoriness of your meat and for stamping your Q with your own unique imprint. And it's ridiculously easy to make.
It helps to understand the history of BBQ sauce. The "styles" of BBQ sauce Americans are likely to think of today, Memphis style, Texas style, Carolina styles, and so on, came into being just a few generations ago. Bear in mind that tomato ketchup, which is the basis of most southern BBQ sauces (except Alabama White), was not a clearly defined product until the early years of the twentieth century. Other countries have their versions too: South America has chimichurri (for asado), the Chinese have hoisin. Until well into more contemporary times, "BBQ" sauces were ad hoc concoctions of mayonnaise, butter, lard, or various fermentations (such as Worcestershire sauce), flavored and spiced in a zillion different ways in different times and places.
The point is: there are no hard and fast rules to confine you and there is really a lot of freedom to tailor a sauce to your occasion. It is very easy to experiment, without radically departing from convention. Here's a list of likely basic ingredients you will use for a tomato-based BBQ sauce:
I am going to suggest that you make your own, if you don't already. That is not because there is any lack of fine BBQ sauces available off-the-shelf at your local grocery store. There are many good ones indeed, and BBQ sauce is one of those things that bottles and stores quite well. The argument for making your own is that you have mastery over the flavor that way, and that makes a huge difference for the savoriness of your meat and for stamping your Q with your own unique imprint. And it's ridiculously easy to make.It helps to understand the history of BBQ sauce. The "styles" of BBQ sauce Americans are likely to think of today, Memphis style, Texas style, Carolina styles, and so on, came into being just a few generations ago. Bear in mind that tomato ketchup, which is the basis of most southern BBQ sauces (except Alabama White), was not a clearly defined product until the early years of the twentieth century. Other countries have their versions too: South America has chimichurri (for asado), the Chinese have hoisin. Until well into more contemporary times, "BBQ" sauces were ad hoc concoctions of mayonnaise, butter, lard, or various fermentations (such as Worcestershire sauce), flavored and spiced in a zillion different ways in different times and places.
The point is: there are no hard and fast rules to confine you and there is really a lot of freedom to tailor a sauce to your occasion. It is very easy to experiment, without radically departing from convention. Here's a list of likely basic ingredients you will use for a tomato-based BBQ sauce:
- Ketchup
- Mustard
- Brown sugar
- Vinegar
- Worcestershire sauce
- Minced garlic
- Onion powder
- Salt and pepper
As an example, let's say we are going to sauce up some baby back ribs. How do like your ribs? Decide what you want your sauce to bring to the party. When I smoke ribs, I want a bold and tangy sauce to go with 'em. So the plan might be: keep it simple and adjust the amounts of vinegar and brown sugar to achieve the effect I want. Dump a bottle of ketchup in a sauce pan and turn the heat to medium. As things start to warm up in there, add 1 cup of brown sugar (packed) and get it to dissolve. Then a splash of vinegar (about a tablespoon) to start. What kind of vinegar? Just whatever is on hand. White or Apple Cider vinegar, either one, will satisfice.
Let's go ahead and add a tablespoon of the Worcestershire sauce and put the bottle away. A little bit of Worcestershire will contribute some nuance to our sauce; too much will ruin it.
Now for the mustard. For this sauce, I think I'll go a little light on the mustard. Let me rummage around and see if I can find some dijon, or anything upscale from French's Yellow. Stir in about a tablespoon of it. I want to preserve the bold tomato-y flavor, so I'm not going to be too heavy handed with the garlic either. Just a half a tablespoon of the minced stuff will do.
Then let's sprinkle in about two teaspoons of onion powder and a big pinch of salt. We'll turn the heat to low and let it simmer for ten or twelve minutes, stirring occasionally. It's important not to taste and render judgment too soon. Allow time for the flavors to come together.
Grab a couple of spoons. One is your dipping spoon, the other your tasting spoon. Scoop up a sample of the sauce with your dipping spoon, and transfer it to your tasting spoon. Taste. How is it?
Now, there is already an excellent chance that our BBQ sauce is just about what we want. Not tangy enough? Then add another little splash of the vinegar and taste again, always remembering that it's easier to add an ingredient than it is to take it out. If you goof, don't worry, you will just have to add more brown sugar. If you goof a lot, you may have to add more ketchup too, just to keep everything in balance.
Okay, so our sauce is bold and tangy. But do you feel it's still a little bland? No fear! We'll make some adjustments to finish this off. Another teaspoon of onion powder. Taste. A little more garlic. Taste. Add the black pepper. Taste. Want a little smoked paprika in there? Why, it's a free country! Taste. Shoulda used just a tad bit more mustard? Add it. Taste.
Just keep adjusting and tasting until, as far you're concerned, it's perfect! Next time, you might be grilling up some chicken. In that case, you might make more use of spices (chili powder, paprika, etc.), add some lemon zest as well as some juice of the lemon, to get yet a different effect. And that's the point. If you're going to all the trouble to cook up a great meal at home, it is really not that much to ask for a home brewed sauce to make sure it's special.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please leave a comment below, or you can email your comments to: myirrefutableopinion@gmail.com. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Please share...
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Philippines In Territorial Waters, Chinese Say
"All of Luzon and most of Mindanao are within the territorial limits justly claimed by The People's Republic," said Wang, "and they must be removed immediately."
"This is ridiculous," President Aquino understated off the record. "What are we supposed to do? Tow the Islands east into the Central Pacific?"
"Yes," Wang immediately responded, who was listening on a secret recording device.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please share...
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
The Waterboard by M.W. Thomas
Please share...
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
The Waterboard by M.W. Thomas
Please share...
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Tired of Broccoli? Read This!
CNN is running a piece today called Food #fail, yet another of those infamous listicles we get salt and peppered with these days, in this instance admonishing you that there are ten foods you're allegedly eating wrong. One of them, it turns out, could be broccoli. Author Sarah Bruning (originally writing for Health.com) suspects you of mistreating your broccoli, perhaps because you've grown weary of the raw stuff, or of choking down the steamed product. Among your potential crimes: boiling and frying. Both offenses tend to compromise the nutritional value of your veggie.
Steaming is the right way to prepare broccoli, for sure. But if you are getting bored with your side of bland florets, try my technique.
Steam your broccoli in a basket as you are compelled to do by good sense and Ms. Bruning. But don't stop there. When your broccoli is tender, transfer it to the saute pan which you have presciently placed over medium heat. Drizzle on some olive oil and toss, then season with a pinch of salt and two teaspoons (per head of broccoli) of ground coriander. Saute quickly and do not keep the broccoli on the heat very long - no more than about two to two-and-a-half minutes. When everything is up to temperature, drizzle on the juice of half a lemon. Serve immediately
And there you have it! Really, really tasty broccoli, with all of its vitamin C and antioxidants intact. I await the torrential rain of your grateful emails.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please leave a comment below, or you can email your comments to: myirrefutableopinion@gmail.com. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Steaming is the right way to prepare broccoli, for sure. But if you are getting bored with your side of bland florets, try my technique.Steam your broccoli in a basket as you are compelled to do by good sense and Ms. Bruning. But don't stop there. When your broccoli is tender, transfer it to the saute pan which you have presciently placed over medium heat. Drizzle on some olive oil and toss, then season with a pinch of salt and two teaspoons (per head of broccoli) of ground coriander. Saute quickly and do not keep the broccoli on the heat very long - no more than about two to two-and-a-half minutes. When everything is up to temperature, drizzle on the juice of half a lemon. Serve immediately
And there you have it! Really, really tasty broccoli, with all of its vitamin C and antioxidants intact. I await the torrential rain of your grateful emails.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please share...
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Packing for Mars
I will tell you sincerely and without exaggeration that the best part of lunch today at the NASA Ames cafeteria is the urine. (p. 309)
NASA Ames is on the vanguard of solving the hydra-headed problem of a manned journey to the Red Planet. One problem, of course, is quenching the thirst of Mars-bound spacefarers. Ms. Roach's report blasts off with humor, rendezvous with the comic and, in the final chapter, splashes down, as you see, with a wee-wee bit of potty humor. Other wing-nut ideas at Ames were known to include eating discarded parts of the spacecraft on the return trip as well as hydrolyzed dirty laundry. Don't forget about those feces burgers! The recycled urine doesn't sound that bad in context. Even if the context is getting fat by eating your own leg.
In answer to her own question, Ms Roach concludes that perhaps the money could be better spent here on earth, but wonders: would it? Her closing chapter stands proudly on its own. If you have a long reading list, you could just read this one chapter, standing with it like a cheapskate at the stacks in your favorite bookstore, but I suggest taking it to the checkout line so you can take it home and devour the whole thing at your leisure from page one.
NASA Ames is located in the greater San Franciso Bay area, where Mary Roach resides. She is probably the only writer of popular science worth reading these days. The genre is almost exclusively rubbish and I generally refuse to read it. But Ms. Roach is the shining exception - an oblast in that desolate nation that is pop sci today and most of yesterday (alas, Isaac Asimov and Carl Sagan have long since abandoned us for other decompositions.)
"Mary Roach is one of an endangered species," wrote the DENVER POST, "a science writer with a sense of humor." Her other credits include Stiff, Spook, and Bonk. How we got from those titles to the polysyllabic Packing for Mars I haven't heard her explain.
Here's another sample of her delightful sciency prose:
Space toilets operate like shop vacs; "contributions," to use Broyen's [her host on a space shuttle toilet tour] word, are guided along, or "entrained," by flowing air rather than by water and gravity, two things in short-to-nonexistent supply in an orbiting spacecraft. Plugged air holes can disable the toilet. Additionally, if you gum up the holes, it is then your responsibility to clean them out - a task Broyan understates as "arduous." (p. 268)
A spacecraft is a confining environment. Ms. Roach gives us the grand tour of isolation experiments, Mars simulators, and bed confinement, in which paid volunteers lounge in bed for months at a time so that physiologists can watch their muscles and skeletons atrophy from disuse. No autopsies are mentioned, so it seems okay to laugh. The topic of sex also comes up in these chapters, as does the menage a moi. As bluntly as NASA engineers and scientists confront peeing, pooping, and vomiting, it turns out that when it comes to the DIY, you really are pretty much on your own. Even NASA has boundaries of embarrassment.
We learn that the greatest annoyances in space are these: other people. Human psychology hands NASA the facts in the bag that may be the hardest dots to connect all the way to Mars and back (a round trip of about three years.) You can train an astronaut to pee in diaper, and even eat it after it's steeped in that special diaper pail for the proscribed time. It may be harder to keep him from killing his snoring shipmate just three days before arrival back at the Blue Marble.
No pretend space trip would be complete without vomit. Everyone who will have the good taste to read My Irrefutable Opinion, will surely have heard about the Vomit Comet. That's the transport plane (there's actually been more than one model, as Ms. Roach explains) that flies parabolic trajectories to simulate "weightlessness." The best VC stories involve close calls with upchuck. The best of the best stories are about close calls with someone else's upchuck. The other way this airplane can make you vomit is by making you watch it suck an innocent bystander into its giant jet engine intake and spew his blood and bones all over you and the tarmac. Isn't science great!
Well, it is. We now know, Ms. Roach reports, that motion sickness is caused by sensory conflict.
"Several Spacelab crew described sudden vomiting episodes after seeing a nearby crew member floating upside down." Nothing personal. (p. 114)
She is quoting Charles Oman, a moton sickness expert at the National Space Biomedical Research Institute. Sometimes it is necessary to simulate the vomitus. The material of choice: Progresso Vegetable Soup (p. 120). That's for adults. If for some reason you need to simulate a juvenile's vomit, I suppose you use Campbell's CHUNKY Vegetable Soup.
Can we talk? Hygiene is a huge issue for space travelers. Here's Jim Lovell (p. 196) describing the reactions of Apollo hatch-openers at Pacific Ocean splashdowns:
"They'd get a whiff of the inside of that spacecraft and it smelled different than the fresh open breezes outside."
It is very important that NASA understand our odor profile. I sent them an unsolicited sample of my duckbutter for analysis, but I haven't got my results back yet, even though I included a SASE. Nevertheless, Ms. Roach gives me an idea of what to expect.
Should I stop bathing today, which I in fact I have, I will fully ripen in about two or three weeks. At that point, I will reach a sort of steady state of maximum offensiveness, but it won't get noticeably worse. How does that work? Ms. Roach refers us to Weber's Law (follow the link or, better yet, read her book.)
It actually wouldn't be so bad if you could run around naked, which I do. But your clothing becomes a bit smudged too if you can't change them five times a day as my friend's six year old daughter is wont to do. The combination of oily skin and cloth sticking to the crevices in your body can and does make an astronaut miserable.
It turns out that the actual mechanics of physically propelling a crew to Mars isn't really the hard part. One sensible solution to the lift weight problem is to send a bunch of stuff to Mars in advance of our explorers, so that they don't really have to bring all that much with them. It is all of these other bugaboos that NASA scientists fret over.
Is it worth it? NASA is always bragging of "spin-offs" from the space program; you know, like Tang, Meals Ready to Eat, GPS, and so on. Their best spin-off to date is Mary Roach. We've spent billions of dollars to get Mary, so we should treasure her. The least you could do is buy her book.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please share...
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
The Waterboard by M.W. Thomas
Please share...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)