10 Bad Things That Happened To Me Last Week

I'm not a big fan of lists, but this one practically wrote itself.  Here are some unfortunate highlights from my week.

1. Smashed my ear in the car door
2. While getting dressed, tucked the tail of my shirt in my hip pocket
3. Dropped a slice of toast and it landed buttered side up – in the dog’s water bowl
4. The barista at Starbuck’s assigned me the name “dickhead”
5. My cube mate found my Starbuck’s cup and now my new nickname at work is “dickhead”
6. Lost time getting a speeding ticket and had to put the pedal to the metal to get to work on time
7. Accidentally cornered a fox and got mauled by a Chihuahua that wanted to kill both of us
8. Leaned back too far in a chair – made it look like I was lying on my back on purpose
9. Saw an old friend at a funeral.  He didn’t look so good.  Hence, the funeral...
10. Jehovah's witness came to the door and convinced me I was going to hell, so I went to the pawn shop and traded my harp for an accordion

The only thing worse about a week of my life is missing one.  Have a tumult of your own to share?  Leave a comment!