Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The Warm On Women


Believe it or not, I don't make a living by blogging and tweeting. Yes, I confess I have a day job. I toil in an engineering department. I console myself and amuse my colleagues with Dilbert strips I post outside my cubicle.

But I've digressed before I've even started. Over the years, there has been an unmistakable growth in the participation of women in the profession. Don't misunderstand, the population of the workplace is still majority male, but the percentage of the fairer sex we see now is considerable. And I mean women doing engineering, not just administrating or bean counting.

This increased participation is good for many reasons, but I want to point out a very particular, little talked about benefit. This is it: a workplace that is more balanced between the genders is a workplace that is more like real life.

In the real world there are men and women. So, unless you like weird dystopias, at the work place there should be men and women. This observation seems almost too irrefutable to comment on any further, but I have some more time to kill.

At an all male work place, what can you expect but mindless conversations about sports, cars, and Jennifer Aniston's ass? Oh, and hear clearly misogynist jokes like this one:

Man to friend: I had a really embarrassing Freudian slip the other day. I was at the airport and I saw this chick with really huge chest beefers. When I went to the counter to check in my bags, I slipped and said, "I need to check my bags through to Tits-burgh."

Friend to Man: Oh, that's nothing. I had a whopper of Freudian slip that beats that one. One morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, "Please pass the cream and sugar." Instead, I slipped and said, "You ruined my whole effing life bitch."

Actually that's pretty funny. I'm sorry ladies. Do forgive me.

An all female work place might be even worse. From the vicious squabbles I've observed, it seems apparent that women very often don't like working with other women.

Woman #1: (Shouts halfway across the office.) Hey! Felicia! Can you resend that cost sheet? My inbox was full. It must have bounced!

Woman #2 in next cubicle: Will you stop shouting? I am trying to concentrate!

Woman #1: Shut up!

Woman #2: Don't tell me to shut up! I'm a grown woman! No one tells me to shut up!

Woman #1: Well I'm telling you to shut up!

Woman #2: Only if you want a roll of packing tape wrapped around your head!

YadaYadaYada. Perhaps in the all-woman  you hear male-insensitive jokes like this one:

Why does the doctor slap the baby's bottom when it's born? To knock the penises off the smart ones!

(That's funny too.) Anyway, welcome to work, ladies. Please be punctual.

2 comments:

  1. This is a great piece! Yes. Women working with all women can get ugly. I tell my husband all the time how I pity him because he had to marry one!

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    1. Big mistake! You know you have to maintain that all is HIS fault! My wife has mastered this strategy. However, I remain unrefuted. That's my story and I'm sticking it to her. By the way the way, on the previous point (RE: "Ten Things You Must Know..."), you asserted divine intervention, while I referred only to "naturally occurring elements." I stand, as always, UNREFUTED!! Thanks for testing the premise of the blog! Sincerely, thanks for interacting with my nonsense. It is very much appreciated.

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