Gift of Gab

Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa

The gift of gab - don't have it. Most men don't. But I know one who does: Regis Philbin. I've always imagined that talking to this guy could be downright intimidating. I am to Regis what a blade of grass is to a lawnmower. He makes his life seem so significant as he weaves his stories that my existence seems to be servile piffle by comparison. When he has pizza in Manhattan on Sunday night, the world is in awe on Monday morning. It's all in the telling. He is a marvelous storyteller. The weird thing is that he otherwise seems to have no discernible talent. Oh, I've heard rumors that he's a crooner and has cut a few records, but who listens to them? Yet there he is, one of the world's best known television personalities.

Yes, Regis is the Titan of Talk. When Kathie Lee left Live! in 2000, the hunt was on for a new sidekick. I recognized this empty chair problem immediately as a particularly interesting one. (It wasn't that I was a regular viewer of this broadcast, mind you. There are such things as sick days from the day job, you know.) Who could be the immoveable object to Regis's unstoppable force? All of the guest cohosts were pushovers. Except for one. Kelly Ripa.

When Kelly arrived, now it was Regis who had to fight to get a word in edgewise. And she wouldn't take any guff. If Regis puffed up a story, Kelly made it clear she just didn't believe it and grabbed the steering wheel. Gotta love it! The audience did love it. And Kelly got the job.

This gift of gab is a wondrous thing to watch, since I don't possess it. There has to be a lack of self-consciousness a person must have to be free with their thoughts, nearly uncensored in their disclosures, and so confident in their own trivia that their words flow like an open fire hydrant on a summer street without any inhibition. Rachel Ray is another TV personality that comes to mind. I am not a "fan" of Rachel's, I just like her. Who wouldn't? She can talk to anybody like she is talking to her own grandmother. In fact, she can talk to a television camera like she's talking to her own grandmother. Who does that?

Conversationalists and storytellers still have a unique place in our popular culture. The best of them really do seem to warm our lives. I am sorry to say that I do not walk among these tongue-gods. My silly blog will have to suffice. And, yes, that's my final answer.

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