Weird Things We Accept as Normal

If I were to show up one day wearing a necktie and you had never seen one of those before, you would be laughing so hard your beverage would be spraying out of your nostrils. Sometimes, there is a clear disadvantage to thinking, some might say over-thinking, because so much of what we have accepted as "normal" for our entire lives is actually pretty damned weird.

Now I'm not talking about novelties like pet rocks or mood rings. That is entertainment and amusement. Nor do I speak of cultural variants, such as tattoos and piercings. No, I'm onto those things we call ''normal" that make no dadgum sense at all.

Forks and knives are fodder for Alice In Wonderland.  Think about it: a single utilitarian solution for every table? It makes no sense. And along with that comes the notion of table manners. That wouldn't be so bad if people could at least get it right. Did you know that asparagus is finger food? Yet across from most Moms, if you use your fingers instead of your universal fork, you get your hand slapped.

Toilet paper has to be the worst idea of all time. I suppose it works fine to daub a lady's dainty dew. But it is worse than of no use on a man's serious business.  You can scrub with that stuff until you have self-induced hemorrhoids, and you will still have skid-marked underpants. No, I want to wash after my constitutional. I lobby to make the bidet standard everywhere.

I have always thought opera and musicals are idiotic. Sure, don't I always break into song in a moment of melancholy? What could be more natural? That's why I enjoyed Chicago so much. They really played up the exaggerated transition into song and dance with a surrealism that appeals to people like me - that is, people who know musicals are intrinsically stupid. Nevertheless, I still love Mary Poppins: don't hold it against me.

There is hope, though, and I can produce proof. When I was a kid, there was this abomination called the TV dinner. These were foil packed, ready to eat "meals" introduced by Swanson's in 1953. Even as bad as the food itself, the movement included a whole culture of eating in front of the TV (which offered about three broadcast networks at that time) with the use of household devices called TV dinner trays. Even though these things still exist (the "meals" go in the 'wave now), and you can still shop for this TV tray junk at Kmart, I still think it serves as an example of the weird that is no longer accepted as "normal."

Do you have examples of your own you'd like to share? Leave a comment (link directly below) or shoot me an email. Your participation is not only welcome, it is wanted!