Retirement, Revisited

I have found myself pondering the notion of retirement again the past few days, and as always also found myself pulled into orbit around the question: what in the world would I do with myself?  I could certainly invest more in my blog, but does anyone really want 8,000 words a day of me? The look of my blog could use a bit more construction, but to tell the truth, I like it simple and clean. I see some blogs that are so busy and fussy with interior decoration that as I look at it, I feel like I am choking on a urinal cake and trying to wash it down with a placenta smoothie.

Sure, I would definitely read more.  More blogs, more books, more short stories, more poetry, great speeches. Maybe even finish reading the Restoration Hardware catalog.

I'll need a hobby.  I can spend my weekends at yard sales.  Who says I don't need 400 fishing poles? I know my wife will love those curios I'll bring home to her; like Stewardess Barbie, or that old rusty Folger's can full of bobby pins. Does anyone know where I can lay my hands on a pair of Man from U.N.C.L.E. walkie-talkies?

Bird-watching, I hear, is the fastest growing outdoor sport these days.  I already have the binoculars. It would be a steep learning curve though.  Is that a wren or a penguin?

Boring: philately and numismatics.

I could run around town with my camera helping people snap those hard-to-get butt-selfies. Or just better selfies period. I would carry around costumes and props to add interest. Wouldn't you like a selfie of yourself made up like Mr. Bean? No? Why not? Never mind.

The more I think of it, retirement beckons. Anyway, as they say, it better to decide to retire, before your boss decides it for you.