Gun Rites

As the cheek-biting winds and frosty nights of Autumn encroach, here we are again processing another mass shooting. I am told again to arm myself against this eventuality. In the inevitable shoot-em-up, I will certainly prevail, because I am the good guy. America is a Clint Eastwood movie. Little does the NRA know or care what a klutz I am. All I know is that I am not entitled to the defense of public safety laws.

Oh, there is money to be made too. With thirteen firearms and countless rounds of ammunition, the gun industry made thousands off the Umpqua shooter. The undertakers made out pretty well too. Stuff happens. Ring us up.

Mind you, I am a Second Amendment supporter, whatever it is you or I think that means. I think hunters, sportsman, hobbyists, and collectors should be able to own pretty much any weapon they wish. There just needs to be meaningful qualifying regulation that protect the public from the feckless.

Are you a curious collector? Do you wish to own a flamethrower? That's great. I think you should be able to do that. But I don't think you should just be able to go online and simply order one and have it delivered to your house. There should be qualifying regulations that you will comply with that demonstrate to us - the rest of the public - that you are qualified to be the caretaker of this dangerous toy. We public don't expect to round the corner and burst into flames in front of the Starbucks. Do you know how to maintain and operate your flamethrower? Do you have a secure place to store it? Will you submit to annual inspections? Do you have adequate private property or access to a safety range to demonstrate the capability of your flamethrower? Do you have a criminal record? Importantly, are you a moron?

Same goes for long guns and hand guns. Why do we sell AR-15s to just anybody? Why sell one to me? I have no idea what I'd be doing with such a weapon. I know nothing about them. Yet I could simply order one online and join the insanity today.

A couple of years ago, a man brought his young son to a gun store in Philadelphia. He bought a hand gun there. Leaving with his deadly purchase, he got no further than the car when he accidentally shot his kid dead. Not part of the reporting: was the gun store owner sorry he sold a gun to an idiot?

Well, we are at an impasse, and I am sure there are Refuters who will say I'm all wet and I don't know what I'm talking about. Stuff happens I hear. But as Aristotle said, The sum of coincidences is certainty.