7 Ways to End a Text Message Conversation

You know what I’m talking about.  You’re texting with a friend, and the conversation drags on vapidly.  Your BFF can’t seem to stop typing.  You’re irritated, fatigued, and your brain is getting gassy.

Oh, it starts out innocently enough:

BFF:  hi just touching base how r u?

Me:  finer than a frogs hair split 5 ways

BFF:  ha ha what r u doin:

Me: minding my own business

BFF:  I’m doing the nyt crossword

Me:  5 across is spatchcock

BFF:  thx

There is a pause here when I don’t reply.  Are we done yet?  No.

BFF:  What ru having for dinner?

Me:  vacant lot salad with cedar mulch dressing

BFF:  yuk!!!!

Me:  what’s wrong?

BFF:  You’re gross!

Me:  says you… little miss dumpster diver?

BFF:  wish you would stop talking about taco bell

Me:  just sayin

BFF:  I’ve seen you eat their burritos

Me:  had em for lunch.  That’s why I’m on the toilet.

Cha, Cha, Cha!  I’ve got seven more ways you can bring the conversation to a “conclusion.”  Pick one, type it in and then holster your phone.

1.      I’m having an out-of-body experience.  brb.
2.       From postmaster:  You’re text was undeliverable.
3.       There has been an error.  Please close your application.
4.       From Reddit:  Congratulations! You have won our Sweepstakes!  You must respond to         youluckydog.com immediately!  Enter code 314159.
5.       What do you take for diarrhea?
6.       The Fire Department is here.
7.       The user has blocked you.

Peace at last!