President Obama announced today his nomination of Jesus of Nazareth to replace Justice Antonin Scalia on the Supreme Court. Justice Scalia passed away on Friday of natural causes. Cries of dismay were immediately heard from Republican observers.
"This is outrageous," said Mitch McConnell, Senate Majority Leader. "You saw what he did to the money changers. The last thing our economy needs is an anti-business justice."
Charles Grassley (R-IA) added that "Jesus forgives everybody. That does not bode well for law and order in our country."
These sentiments were echoed throughout the conservative community. Rush Limbaugh, the conservative radio infotanair, called Jesus " a liberal long-haired hippy n*gg*r-lover, and the Republicans should stand firm against him."
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