MIO Exclusive: Trump Says Reporter Could Have Been Wearing Suicide Tampon Bomb

My reporter on the ground in Wisconsin this week barely escaped bruises herself this week, brushing less than criminally past a Trump supporter with a pitch fork and a torch while the theme song from Peter and the Wolf blared from the loud speakers. She heard The Donald declaring OJ guilty as hell from the podium, and calling for death by beheading.

Trump also addressed the misdemeanor charges filed against his Campaign Manager, Corey Lewandowski, who was charged with battery against an ostensibly friendly Breitbart reporter.  "Corey, who is a GREAT GUY, was just protecting me," said Trump. "Who knows, she might have been wearing a suicide tampon bomb."

Unfortunately, my reporter didn't follow-up because she was distracted by the smell of free popcorn. However, before making her way over to the Circus Tent to stuff her face, she noted one last thing on her napkin: the Obama entourage had allegedly contracted a case of green diarrhea on their visit to Cuba. That's what the Castros have to offer, Trump said, is communism and green diarrhea. We're going to make America great again, declared The Donald, and that means brown diarrhea.